MY LIFE IS WHOA!

Yeah so, I spent a rip roaring weekend party hopping, and I actually enjoyed myself. I went and saw the 40 yr old Virgin last night, and it was fucking hilarious. Almost had to beat a 4 foot oompa loompa up at work today, her only saving grace being that she is technically my boss. So, as I'm sitting at the computer last night, April begins to scream. She then informs me that there is a 40 somethingish man, washing off with our hose, still in his clothes, nonetheless. Needless to say, maybe G-Bert isnt dead, after all. Nuff for now.

HOW WOULD YOU CAMOFLAUGE YOURSELF IF YOU WERE HIDING OUT IN A GINGERBREAD HOUSE?

I WOULD SPRINKLE CINNAMON OVER MY VITALS, STRATEGICALLY PLACE GUM DROPS ON THE TWINS, AND ADD A NICE LAYER OF FROSTING ACROSS THE NAPPY DUGOUT

WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU AND WHY: FLEXIBILITY OR EXPANDABILITY?

FLEXIBILITY. MEN DONT LIKE WIDE VAGINAS, BUT THEY LOOOVE A GYMNAST!

THE LOVE POTION YOU MADE TASTES TERRIBLE. HOW WILL YOU DRINK IT?

I will insert it into an enema, and ingest it rectally.

PROCRASTINATING

Sitting at the comp, listening to 50, procrastinating cleaning the house. I've decided to fulfill my maternal urges by getting a kitten. I will be registered at PETSMART, so I will expect a gift at the baby shower; just wanted to give everyone a heads up!

MIS PUTAS

YO CON MIS PUTAS

CONO!

DAVID Y MI

DELTASIG BEOTCHES

DELTASIG INITIATION, 2001

TAKE THAT QUIZ! TAKE IT!

BROTHER SEXUAL CHOCOALTE IN DA HIZOUSE!

DONDE ESTA LA NEGRA?

FIND THE NEGRO,,,,,,,I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT: SHE'S SMILING!

GO NEGRA GO NEGRA

Busting a move at Shan and Ef's wedding...

BLAH

Still recovering from the horrific meal I suffered through at Uno's last night. Pizzeria my ass, they have now aptly been renamed to Shitzzeria. The icing on the cake: SINGED HAIR EMBEDDED INTO THE ORIFICES OF THE PIZZA! Too disgusted to tell anymore........

STAY AWAY FROM UNO'S!

WORST DINNER EVER!!!!

Puerto Rican Parade

Yeah, so Ms Mona and I went trekking through Seaside to see the sights of the Puerto Rican Parade, and what sights they were. I mean, every other one of the PR girls was pregnant, and everyone else had on either Puerto Rican flags for shirts or pants or both. I mean, drive down East Main street on any given summer day, and you have a Puerto Rican Parade. Why do we have to allow them to contaminate the rest of the city? I'm not being racist or a bigot. I mean, my freaking boyfriend is half Puerto Rican, and little Amber Marie will be a quarter. I just needed to vent a bit...

It is currently 91 degrees in Da Po, and Sexual Chocolate is feeling a bit sticky...

I told Bumbo he could come over tonight, and that we could have a PG13 rated experience. He keeps insisting on NC17. I know that a girl has to do her own thing, even when she has a "man". But, I'm tired of tricking and I want to settle down and be honest. I have no desire to knock boots with Bumbo, and I need some advice on how to convey this without burning that bridge. Feel free to post a comment............

WTF

Makebusy7, Bumbo called, TWICE! it was the whoaest thing ever!!! I mean, what the fuck is his deal lately?

I think he was with the Unibomber, and the Unibomber let him in on the fact that I stated Bumbo couldn't hump, and now he has to come and prove me wrong?

Thanks for the text messages, i love you too. I wanted to call, but as its 1242am, I didn't think your husband would've appreciated it.

Erinnennina, thanks for the comment; that will be all from the peanut gallery

Mutha truckin acid reflux!

I just wanted to thank whoever discovered the Tourette's Guy, because I can now swear, twitch and jerk, without any qualms; check out the link

BOB SAGET!

CRACKDONALD'S

WHAT KIND OF SOTHDA DO YOU WANT?

I'M LUVIN IT!

Another day, Another Dollar

It's another day here at the wonderful RBS. I had one of the craziest nights last night, bopping around the Bpt dog track in hopes of striking it rich. SOB and I would've won a pretty penny, but our punk asses were too scared to bet; by the time we manned up, lady luck was doing the walk of shame. After betting, we voyaged further along the east side, to Frankie's, where I enjoyed a chef salad, and the SOB enjoyed my lettuce. Our waiter looked like how I envision Cuban refugees must look when they first set foot in Miami: dumbfounded. I mean, this guy must be related to the owner, because he serves no purpose in the waitstaff industry. Anywho, when we first arrived, there were these two cracked out skeevy looking white trash dudes, ice grilling to the max, son. It was so annoying, I had to insist they take a picture, cause it would last longer! So, Pablo Diablo comes along and asks us if we're ready for our check and, after waiting on the cusp of patience for 20 minutes, he comes over and says that somehow, someone has paid our bill. I spent a total of 12bucks last night, and i didnt even have to give out any blow jobs for the perks! lol

As most of you may, or may not know, I am the queen of freebies. As if getting hooked up with the free meal last night wasnt enough, I went the Kentucky Fried's inbred toothless cousin for lunch, Kennedy Fried, and instead of the 3piece I ordered, homegirl hooked me up with a 4piece. Now thats what I call VIP treatment!

It's confirmed: I'm Psycho! I mean, Psychic. there's this chick at work, who will be aptly named Uterus with a Head, and I was stuck on the elevator with her. I notice a slight bulge in her stomach area, and immediately concluded she was knocked up. Well, I come into work today, and Makebusy7 is going on and on about how he can't stand the Baby Factory(her 2nd name), when Salmonea comes over all flushed, calls Lolita, and yells: "Did you know that the Uterus with a Head is pregnant?" Nothing like workplace professionalism people.

LOOK EVERYBODY, IT'S 3:34PM. ONE HOUR AND 26MIN TO GO!

WHOA!

i have officially seen it all

rosie o'donnell has a blog, www.rosie.com.... its whoa

I'M A.....

Caffeine, the perfect fuel for Picking for the Man

Isn't It Ironic?

Well, isn't it?

MY WEAPON OF CHOICE

Need I say more?

AYUDAME!

Help, I'm chained to the monitor!

UGGH

Den of Fascism

AWW

Downtown, in DA PO